I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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