If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
