Texts From Last Night

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  (425): View more from Washington

  OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?

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  (425): OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy? http://tfl.nu/azer
  Replies (4) Good night (1254) Bad night (781)
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  (805): View more from California

  before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.

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  (805): before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was. http://tfl.nu/5vrd
  Replies (41) Good night (5158) Bad night (1121)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?

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  (806): How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her? http://tfl.nu/a3s8
  Replies (78) Good night (726) Bad night (7728)
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  (760): View more from California

  Joe is yelling at the trees again.

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  (760): Joe is yelling at the trees again. http://tfl.nu/dpjn
  Replies (26) Good night (4034) Bad night (782)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians

  (503): View more from Oregon

  How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?

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  (206): I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians (503): How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often? http://tfl.nu/gll8
  Replies (20) Good night (5373) Bad night (1264)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.

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  (785): Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know. http://tfl.nu/7et1
  Replies (12) Good night (2547) Bad night (1032)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.

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  (989): his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted. http://tfl.nu/sm1y
  Replies (19) Good night (4145) Bad night (1158)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.

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  (314): I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate. http://tfl.nu/fw6h
  Replies (12) Good night (2763) Bad night (1073)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  He's yummy.

  (613): View more from Ontario

  HE'S GAY. AND 40.

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Irrelevant.

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  (802): He's yummy. (613): HE'S GAY. AND 40. (802): Irrelevant. http://tfl.nu/3zsj
  Replies (9) Good night (2273) Bad night (1079)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.

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  (785): Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid. http://tfl.nu/egf9
  Replies (7) Good night (2277) Bad night (881)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.

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  (616): what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place? (1-616): i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day. http://tfl.nu/ba7u
  Replies (2) Good night (993) Bad night (368)
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  (818): View more from California

  Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.

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  (818): Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great. http://tfl.nu/bj70
  Replies (1) Good night (816) Bad night (375)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.

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  (304): You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish. http://tfl.nu/ubba
  Replies (12) Good night (1157) Bad night (409)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.

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  (720): You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night. http://tfl.nu/h9pj
  Replies (0) Good night (501) Bad night (226)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude

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  (219): He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude http://tfl.nu/vgk9
  Replies (1) Good night (310) Bad night (160)

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