there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.