I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?