i may or may not be watching the land before time
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You were trust falling into bushes
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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