So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.