We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
