I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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