Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize