they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
