How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
