He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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