Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
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Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
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This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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