u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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