we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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