Only a mothe r could love this liver
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
