Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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