Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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