Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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