im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize