Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
