I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I got inside last night via doggy door
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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