People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
