chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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