dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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