its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He better not be in your backpack
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Randomize
