it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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