Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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