do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
