I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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