That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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