I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
