She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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