I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just invented taco cereal.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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