Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
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