If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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