Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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