Plan B is the new Plan A
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
