everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
