Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
