well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
