I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
