If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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