Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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