Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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