Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize