he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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