Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
