Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
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Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
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I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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