We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
