Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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