Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
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