I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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