But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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