It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
