Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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