I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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