There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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