One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
