For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
