I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
