i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
