it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
