He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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